Nine years ago I was feeling ready to take the leap into self-employment.
My wife, Nikkie — she wasn’t feeling so ready.
It was difficult to talk about. It was literally painful to discuss. Our first child was about 18 months old. Nikkie and I were both working. And I was convinced it was time for me to wave goodbye to my steady paycheck. Naturally it wasn’t an easy conversation for a couple to have.
It’s common to get stuck in cycles with difficult conversations like this one. We were stuck. I was struggling to speak the words in my head and my heart. So I eventually took to paper, writing Nikkie a short letter about why I felt ready to dive into entrepreneurship. This letter became something special to us over the years.
Fast forward a number of years. We had the letter in the glove box of one of our cars. The car got flooded and totaled. We lost nearly everything in it. Including the letter.
It was really tough knowing something this special to us as a couple was lost. But over time we grew to accept this.
Then — after years of thinking this letter was lost — we found the letter.
We were so excited to find it! We found it tucked away in a keepsake box that we could have sworn we checked years ago.
I re-read it a few times. Nikkie read through it too. It felt great having it “back” once again. We were relieved to be wrong about where we had stored it!
Two things struck me as I re-read the letter for the first time in many years.
My writing was terrible! I’m glad I’m improving on that front. 😁
My “why” for starting this thing called Focus Lab hasn’t budged. Below is an excerpt from the letter. I spent some time talking through the numbers showing we could pay our bills with the client work lined up. Then I went to this:
Lastly there is something that I think outweighs all of the numbers. I want this! I have a drive to create something (a business) and grow it into something great. Great for you and our family. Great for employees. Great for God’s Kingdom. Great for Savannah.
As I write this nine years later I can say this is still driving me each day.
I’m so grateful for my bride who put her support behind this crazy idea. This dream of building something great. This “dream of the world we’re gonna make.”
Published on May 11, 2019
© 2021 Erik Reagan unless otherwise noted
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